"Spain could soon become the first country in the world to give chimpanzees, gorillas, orangutans and other great apes some of the fundamental rights granted to human beings..."
"The law would eliminate the concept of 'ownership' for great apes, instead placing them under the 'moral guardianship' of the state, much as is the case for children in care, the severely handicapped and those in comas..."
So... Let me get this right... Apes are equivalent to the severely handicapped...
And babies, a second before popping out of the womb, are of less value than Bongo the Chimp?
Mee thinkee there mightee bee a problemee theree...
"Their 'declaration' calls for great apes to be kept locked up only when they are a threat to the community, and then only with a right of appeal to the courts, with representation by a lawyer."
Now they have Ape lawyers? And remind me again why Terry Schiavo wasn't allowed the same?
Oh wait it gets better:
" 'To move a baby ape is to split up a family. They have feelings, they can feel sad, and they have the capacity for love. If a zoo has no room for new births, it would be better to sterilise the females.' "
So they're already starting to talk about Ape birth control I see... I guess that must be one of the first signs of being human: when Planned Parenthood starts servicing you...
I'm starting to wonder if I'm on some sort of Planet of the Apes...
Wait... What's this?
Oh no! I was wrong! It was Earth All along!
Sorry... I just couldn't help myself...
"It was satire, right?"
ReplyDeleteNo Dave I really think that we should attack the Apes before they take control of the planet... Give them compassionate treatment - that's just crazy talk!
Vive La Resistance!
PS: watch both. Although I've heard the Marky Mark version is a lot closer to the book than the Hestonian Original.
"I once borrowed the whole Planet of the Apes movie series from a friend and watched them all in one day. A monkey marathon."
ReplyDeleteThat is insane Dave. I believe you might be actually be competing with me at this point for nerdiness. :-P
"Ooops ... I forgot the apes don't like to be called monkies."
"How about a parade of primates?"
That's just Apee.