Where's Charlton Heston when you need him?

Damn Dirty Apes!
"Spain could soon become the first country in the world to give chimpanzees, gorillas, orangutans and other great apes some of the fundamental rights granted to human beings..."

"The law would eliminate the concept of 'ownership' for great apes, instead placing them under the 'moral guardianship' of the state, much as is the case for children in care, the severely handicapped and those in comas..."

So... Let me get this right... Apes are equivalent to the severely handicapped...

And babies, a second before popping out of the womb, are of less value than Bongo the Chimp?

Mee thinkee there mightee bee a problemee theree...
"Their 'declaration' calls for great apes to be kept locked up only when they are a threat to the community, and then only with a right of appeal to the courts, with representation by a lawyer."

Now they have Ape lawyers? And remind me again why Terry Schiavo wasn't allowed the same?

Oh wait it gets better:
" 'To move a baby ape is to split up a family. They have feelings, they can feel sad, and they have the capacity for love. If a zoo has no room for new births, it would be better to sterilise the females.' "

So they're already starting to talk about Ape birth control I see... I guess that must be one of the first signs of being human: when Planned Parenthood starts servicing you...

I'm starting to wonder if I'm on some sort of Planet of the Apes...

Wait... What's this?

Oh no! I was wrong! It was Earth All along!

Sorry... I just couldn't help myself...


  1. I chuckled.

    It was satire, right?

    You really do support the compassionate treatment of animals, right?

    And humans too? As you mentioned, Terry Schiavo, as an example. I think what was done to her amounted to a crime. Starving someone to death? Most people treat animals better.

    Anyways, I might watch Planet of the Apes. I have both the new and the old one in my dvd collection.

    Now which one to watch? I think I will go old school and watch Charlton Heston rather than Marky Mark.

  2. "It was satire, right?"

    No Dave I really think that we should attack the Apes before they take control of the planet... Give them compassionate treatment - that's just crazy talk!

    Vive La Resistance!

    PS: watch both. Although I've heard the Marky Mark version is a lot closer to the book than the Hestonian Original.

  3. I did watch them both but have never read the book so I can't offer any critique compared to the book.

    I once borrowed the whole Planet of the Apes movie series from a friend and watched them all in one day. A monkey marathon.

    Ooops ... I forgot the apes don't like to be called monkies.

    How about a parade of primates?

  4. "I once borrowed the whole Planet of the Apes movie series from a friend and watched them all in one day. A monkey marathon."

    That is insane Dave. I believe you might be actually be competing with me at this point for nerdiness. :-P

    "Ooops ... I forgot the apes don't like to be called monkies."

    "How about a parade of primates?"

    That's just Apee.

  5. I believe you might be actually be competing with me at this point for nerdiness. :-P

    See, I told you we would have more things in common. =P

    But enjoying good science fiction stories doesn't make us nerds. Does it?

    When Star Wars Episode III came out on dvd I was able to complete my Star Wars collection and had been looking forward to a Star Wars marathon too.

    But watching all six Star Wars consecutively took a two day effort. And I didn't watch television for about a week after.

  6. And looking at your profile again here are some other things we have in common.

    I am a Pisces too but don't put much stock in astrology.

    The Passion is in my dvd collection too.

    I don't like spending $10 to see a movie at the theater, and have not been to a theater in years, but will spend $10, 20 or more to own movies I want to see and know will be good.

    We share an affinity for Star Wars; great movies. I liked them all, with 3,4, and 5 standing out as favorites. Okay okay, 6 is good too, despite and maybe because of the Ewoks.

    Star Trek, Wrath of Khan is the best from that series, in my humble opinion. The first one, with V-ger, is my next favorite, I thought it was brilliant but still liked the direct antagonist/protagonist theme of Khan vs. Kirk better. The rest were okay but I have never bought any of them. Wrath of Khan is on TV often enough but if I could find it for $9.95 I would probably buy it.

    I like the Aliens movie series too and recently got the box set. I think Sigourney is pretty hot. Liked her in GhostBusters too.

    The old Star Trek TV series is good too. Bad but good at the same time.

    As far as books I see that you have read the RAMA series from Arthur C. Clarke. Very good books. Probably his best series. Tied with Space Odyssey as far as I am concerned. I have read most of his stuff.

    Read lots of Asimov and Bova too.

    Hmm ... thats about it from what I have gathered from your profile and the archives I read through here and there.

    Dig you later, I have to iron a shirt and make my lunch for tomorrow and it is almost 9:00 here on the west coast.