Lets Ban Chickens...

Today's policy announcement is to show that handguns will no longer be welcome in Canada, a Liberal source said. Mr. Martin will argue in Toronto that the only way to stop the recent rash of slayings and gang-related violence is to ban handguns and choke off the supply.(link)

The biggest problem with society today, is that people blame inanimate objects for problems. Fast Food causes obesity... Cigarettes cause cancer... Carbs make people fat... Fat makes people fat... Pepsi causes cavities... And Guns cause violence.

Fast food doesn't make people obeise. People eating too much fast food does. Cigarettes don't cause cancer. People smoking cigarettes cause cancer. Carbs, and fat don't make anyone fat. People eating too much of either does. Pepsi does not create cavities. Drinking it will if you're living by 1960's dentistry era practices. And Guns don't cause violence. People using guns cause violence. It's the sin that's the problem not the object.

This announcement has given glee to those on the left like Calgary Grit though:

Gun control has always been one of the issues that drove me towards the Liberal Party. I support the gun registry and would probably support a complete ban on all guns within major city limits if anyone ever proposed that. So this is a policy I can really get behind and I think a lot of Canadians in big cities, especially Toronto, will strongly support it.
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The fact of the mater is, there is no reason for anyone to own a handgun that won't be covered by an exception to this law (ie. police officers and target shooters). There's a reason that I'm not allowed to own a collection of antique grenade launchers. There's a reason I can't own an assault riffle to hunt rabbits in my backyard. And the same principle should apply to hand guns.

What about farmers that everyonce and a while have to put an animal out of it's misery? Or someone that lives up North - not officially registered with anyone - that needs to shoot a lunging bear everyonce and while?

But hey who cares about them "barbarians." Those civilized folk like CalgaryGrit know a lot better then those horrible backwards un-"progressives" such as myself.

Actually come to think of it lets ban Chickens. They cause all that avian flu - and no one likes avian flu. No one needs Chickens to live. They don't serve any real purpose. What rational reason could anyone have for using a Chicken? Actually lets make up a law that bans all uses of Chickens except the ones that the enlightened few in Ottawa think of. After all we can trust politicians - it's not like they've ever lied before...

Yes, I'm aware this won't affect a ton of people. And I'm aware this won't stop gun violence in Toronto. But it's a good start and, unlike most of the policies announced so far this campaign, I really don't see a downside to it.(link)

Now you're really confusing me. If it doesn't cure the problem, then why the heck are we implementing the solution? I realize you're just trying to make "things better" for all us uncivilized barbarians that are too stupid to know any better, but why can't you just deal with the bloody problems in Toronto and fix them and leave the rest of us alone?

Police officers in both Toronto and Vancouver say a large number of the guns on the street, probably the majority, are illegal weapons being smuggled into the United States.

Again, the little un-"progressive" over here is just too darn backwaters red neck to get what the superior race in inner cities is getting at. If the darn guns are coming from another country illegally, why will they stop flowing when they ban the legal guns?

This is all meant in jest at CalgaryGrit. Of all the Liberals bloggers I read he seems like the nicest guy. But it's too bad that he can't relate to us uncivilized monkeys that think differently.